Porcupine's Dilemma

Have you ever heard of the Porcupine’s Dilemma? It’s an analogy to problems with human intimacy, and goes like this: A group of porcupines are trying to stay warm in the winter by huddling together. The closer they get, the more they prick each other with their quills. For this reason they have to keep their distance, sacrificing warmth for comfort. The human comparison is obvious, but real. What do you do when you want to engage in close relationships but are unable to because of unavoidable circumstances? Closeness causes ‘mutual harm’ which causes tentative interaction with others which causes weaker relationships.

This is the discussion I had with Marianela, an Argentinean friend I made through Mark (my Cairns friend). We were at a get-together at Marianela and Julia’s house and somehow came upon the topic of how we both traveled a lot and were single. In my case, I’m in Australia for a limited time only. Why try making connections when I’m leaving in a few months? She said that you just have to be open because anything can happen.

Cue the hot girl.

Krista went to grad school with Marianela and came late to the party. She had a bit of an Aussie accent but was actually from Finland. She spoke 6 languages, was studying marketing and surfed. Yes, I had found the elusive surfer chick. We hit it off from the beginning, but she is hesitant. Porcupine’s dilemma, story of my life.